Make People Feel Seen

It costs nothing. And it changes everything.

Read time ~2mins

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“Once I did bad and that I heard ever.

Twice I did good, but that I heard never.”

Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People

Nothing kills motivation faster than silence after effort.

We’ve become obsessed with always being better.
Sharpen it. Optimise it. Maximise it. Improve it.
I'm guilty of it too - a constant obsession to be all that I can be.

“To what end, Danny Boy?”

Mum

As a leader, you hope it sounds like inspiration.
But without the right balance of recognition, it sounds like: “you’re not enough.”

Disengagement is expensive

When people disengage, three things go first:

• Productivity,

• Accountability,

• Reliability.

And when that happens, the big stuff is next:

• Credibility,

• Profitability,

• Other important-stuff-ility.

But when someone feels important, they’ll do important things.

What do good leaders do?

They notice things.
They name them.
They say them.

It doesn’t have to be loud.
Just real.

Send the message. Make the quick call.

My personal favourite is swinging by someone’s desk with a Post-it note and a handshake.
Because nothing lands better then looking someone in the eye and saying, “I saw that - and it was good.”

Recognise the right things

Usain Bolt's coach didn’t care about his long jump.

Great leaders spot what makes someone special and double down on it.

They don’t obsess over fixing flaws - they amplify strengths.

Your strengths are the path of least resistance to your success.

Playing to your strengths creates confidence. Confidence creates momentum. Momentum leads to capability. Capability becomes success.

The shoutout section

I get to learn this kind of stuff from great people. So here is some personal recognition of three people who put some pep in my step this week and made me feel important in ways that stuck.

Sean Pitt - who constantly checks in week-to-week and provides me feedback, direction, support, and things to think about (he’s my biggest fan).

Scott Sandlin - with a perfect reminder that leadership can travel - without a direct work relationship and in a different time zone (this guy is one of a kind and there’s a reason he’s never been seen in the same room as Superman).

Lewis Maxwell - for connecting me to the most humbling and beautiful feedback I’ve ever received (and what became the inspiration for this essay).

Send this to someone who’s made you feel seen.
And then send a message to someone who deserves the same.

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