I Don’t Need a Cheerleader and I Don’t Want a Critic
Why feedback is only a gift if it helps moves someone forward
Read time 2mins
“Feedback is a gift”, some (unhelpful) people declare.
But some people misunderstand feedback. I’ve seen two extremes:
1️⃣ The Critic, who only points out flaws.
2️⃣ The Cheerleader, who only offers blind encouragement.
Neither of them helps you get better.
The Critic 🧐
"Don't you worry your pretty little mind. People throw rocks at things that shine."
The Great and Powerful Taylor Swift.
Critics are everywhere. And they like to disguise their criticism as feedback.
You know the type - every silver lining has a cloud.
Their cup isn’t just half-empty - it’s shattered at their feet, and they want you to step on the glass.
They’re experts at noticing what’s wrong - without offering a single helpful thought on how to actually make it better.
I once shared a business idea with someone, and their only response was to point out a typo.
Not a word about the idea itself. No encouragement. No constructive thoughts. Just: “Hey, you spelled that wrong.”
That’s not feedback. That’s a four-letter-word (a bad one).
The Cheerleader 🎉
“You’re all winners!”
That silly lady from Seinfeld in the episode about the NYC marathon.
On the other end of the spectrum is the person who just says, “Great job!” and moves on.
That’s encouragement, not feedback.
Encouragement is nice. But if you’re running a marathon, is someone jogging next to you, smiling, and handing you lip balm and a beer really helping?
For the longest time, my performance reviews were just “great job!”.
It’s well-meaning, and I’m grateful for it - but it didn’t make me better.
At one point, I even joked with a leader, hoping to trigger some real feedback:
"I’m 30 and have only been doing this for a few years. I hope I haven’t peaked!"
How to Be a Feedback Wizard 🧙♂️
Good feedback isn’t about tearing someone down or mindlessly hyping them up. It’s about moving them forward.
Here’s how:
✅ Make it specific. No vague generalities - point out exactly what worked or didn’t. I usually go with a clear summary of start/stop/keep.
✅ Acknowledge the good outcome (the what). People need to know what’s working.
✅ Focus on process (the how). How did they get that outcome?
✅ Explain why the ‘how’ and ‘what’ matter. Context helps people learn.
✅ Suggest one thing to focus on next time. Give them a clear next step.
✅ Make it real. Sincerity hits the mark without effort.
Example:
❌ Bad feedback: "Great presentation!"
❌ Worse feedback: "You had too many slides."
✅ Great feedback: "Your storytelling kept the audience engaged (the what). The way you structured the key points made it easy to follow (the how). If you simplify a couple of slides, it’ll be even stronger next time (the next step)."
See the difference?
Critics and Cheerleaders exist everywhere. But if you really want to help someone improve, don’t just point out problems or throw out hollow praise.
Great feedback is like a GPS - clear, directional, and actually useful. It doesn’t just tell you where you are; it tells you where you need to go, and how to get there.
PS I’ve created a template for providing feedback and if it would add some value to your life please ask for it and I’ll send it over.